Page 1 of 32 12311 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 392

Thread: Joke Thread

Hybrid View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1
    Word Ninja Sharkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Nevada
    Posts
    11,838

    Joke Thread

    A woman was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected:

    A half-gallon of 2% milk,
    A carton of eggs,
    A quart of orange juice,
    A head of lettuce,
    A 2 lb. Can of coffee and
    A 1 lb. Package of bacon

    A drunk man standing behind her watched as she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out.

    While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated -- 'You must be single.'

    The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but was intrigued by the derelict's intuition since she was indeed single.

    She looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about the selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

    Curiosity getting the better of her, she asked, 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?'

    The drunk replied -- 'Cause you're ugly.'

  2. #2
    Old Timer JKAnimal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    East TX
    Posts
    2,757
    Quote Originally Posted by Sharkey View Post
    A woman was shopping at the local supermarket where she selected:

    A half-gallon of 2% milk,
    A carton of eggs,
    A quart of orange juice,
    A head of lettuce,
    A 2 lb. Can of coffee and
    A 1 lb. Package of bacon

    A drunk man standing behind her watched as she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out.

    While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated -- 'You must be single.'

    The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but was intrigued by the derelict's intuition since she was indeed single.

    She looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about the selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

    Curiosity getting the better of her, she asked, 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?'

    The drunk replied -- 'Cause you're ugly.'


    Thanks, I needed a laugh today!
    The ANIMAL Build Thread

    2012 JKUR 6 spd Manual; 5.13 gears; 4:1, CRUSH


    Done so far: Pro Comp 17x9 wheels, 37" NITTO Trail Grapplers, EVO Enforcer 4" Lift, 2.5 Spec. King Shocks/Compression Adjusters, 5.13 Gears, RR Aluminum Billet Hood Latches, Truck-Lite LED Headlights, Rigid Dually LEDs, Cobra 75 CB, Wild Boar Roof Rack, Tom Woods 1310 Front Drive shaft

  3. #3
    Resident Smartass OverlanderJK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    30,172
    RECOMMENDED JEEP PARTS & ACCESSORIES

    2012 Dozer JK
    -Dynatrac PR44/Rubicon Rear
    -Nitto 37” Trail Grapplers
    -Rock Krawler 2.5” Lift
    -ATX Slabs
    -Warn VR8
    -EVO Armor/Bumpers

    2012 Billet Silver JKUR
    -EVO DTD front and rear
    -Dynatrac PR60/PR80
    -EVO High Clearance Long Arm
    -Nitto 40” Trail grapplers
    -KMC Machetes
    -JE Reel 1410/1350 Driveshafts
    -Warn CTI 9.5
    -EVO Armor/Bumpers

    1975 DJ5

  4. #4
    Guy with a Red 2-Door cozdude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    West Chester, PA
    Posts
    18,597
    good one sharkey!
    Jeep parts and accessories purchased through the following link will help support this forum and at no cost to you.
    RECOMMENDED JEEP PARTS & ACCESSORIES


    October 16, 2013, wednesday early evening, east of the pacific ocean, selectee for truly random and boring Parking lot photo of the moment grand platinum prize winner!

    2011 JK
    EVO Bolt-on Coilovers, EVO 1/4 pounder w/ stinger, 37" Cooper STT Pros, PR44, and some EVO stuff

    Awaiting install-
    On Order-
    Want list- Evo carrier and skins, PSC hydro assis

    jlwrangler.com

  5. #5
    Knows a Thing or Two 1BAMFR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    918
    Dayummmm! hahahahhaa
    Lifted, Locked, 37's, and a lot of etc.

  6. #6
    Addict Brankz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    SAN DIEGO CALIFORNIA
    Posts
    7,306
    Lol. bacon!!!!!!!
    YOUR NEGATIVITY IS WELCOME

  7. #7
    Knows a Thing or Two jeff_in_rc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Ridgecrest, CA
    Posts
    566
    This is the ONLY joke my wife has laughed at in the 23 years we have been together, hope you like it.

    A guy is walking down the street past a mental hospital surronded by a huge wooden fence when he hears a group inside chanting "twelve, twelve, twelve". As he walks a little further down the street he sees a hole in the fence and decides to look thru the hole to see if he can find out why they are chanting.

    As he puts his face against the fence and looks thru the hole someone inside pokes him in the eye with a stick, then he hears them chanting "thirteen, thirteen, thirteen"!
    2004 RED TJ Rubicon
    Member of the Gear Grinders 4WD Club

  8. #8
    Nothing but a Thing JKFlyer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    South Jersey
    Posts
    1,257
    Quote Originally Posted by jeff_in_rc View Post
    This is the ONLY joke my wife has laughed at in the 23 years we have been together, hope you like it.

    A guy is walking down the street past a mental hospital surronded by a huge wooden fence when he hears a group inside chanting "twelve, twelve, twelve". As he walks a little further down the street he sees a hole in the fence and decides to look thru the hole to see if he can find out why they are chanting.

    As he puts his face against the fence and looks thru the hole someone inside pokes him in the eye with a stick, then he hears them chanting "thirteen, thirteen, thirteen"!
    :thumbup: I like that one!

    Sent from my DROID RAZR HD using WAYALIFE mobile app

  9. #9
    Knows a Thing or Two Desert Rose JK's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Scottsdale, AZ
    Posts
    649
    Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

    The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. “Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me”, she told him.

    “Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes”, the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside she administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, “How does that feel”?

    “Feels great”, he replied; “but I still think my thumb's broken”!
    2013 JKUR Billet
    EVO Enforcer w / 2.5 Kings
    PS Brawler front bumper
    Fuel Boost wheels, 37" Nitto T/G

  10. #10
    Knows a Thing or Two
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    934
    Quote Originally Posted by Desert Rose JK View Post
    Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

    The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. “Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me”, she told him.

    “Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes”, the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside she administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, “How does that feel”?

    “Feels great”, he replied; “but I still think my thumb's broken”!
    Lmao that was excellent. Good thread topic, keep em coming. I'm trying to recall some of the good ones I knew

    The Force will be with you.... always

Page 1 of 32 12311 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
About us
“wayoflife” is a moniker that I’ve been using for 20 years now and I chose it because I think it does a great job of explaining, in simple terms, the passion I have for Jeeps and the Jeep way of life. This is a lifestyle that transcends age, gender and race as the only thing you need to be a part of it is a love for the outdoors, a desire to explore, a yearning to take on a challenge and a will to conquer it. Over the years, Cindy and I have attempted to capture the essence of this lifestyle through photographs and videos and share it with others around the world. And, this is how WAYALIFE was born.
Join us
WATCH OUR VIDEOS