Joke Thread

cozdude

cozdude

Guy with a Red 2-Door
trailraider said:
Moesha Plotniks Laundry

Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners, etc. When he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign 'Moesha Plotnik's Laundry." 'Moesha Plotnik?' he wondered. 'How does that belong in Chinatown ?' He walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking dry cleaner, although he could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the store name as there were baseball hats, T-shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo 'Moesha Plotnik's Chinese Laundry.' The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office. Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who thanked him for his purchase. The tourist asked, 'Can you explain how this place got a name like 'Moesha Plotnik's Laundry?'' The old man answered, 'Ah..Evleebody ask me dat. It name of owner.' Looking around, the tourist asked, 'Is he here now?' 'It me, Me him!' replied the old man. Really? You're Chinese. How did you ever get a Jewish name like Moesha Plotnik?'' It simple' said the old man. 'Many, many year ago I come to this country.I, standing in line at 'Document Center of Immiglation.' Man in front of me was man from Poland.' 'Lady at counter look at him and say to him, 'What you name?'
He (Polish man) say to her, 'Moesha Plotnik.' Then she look at me and say, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sam Ting.'
Click to expand...

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] that's a good one!
 
OhNoTheJiggies

OhNoTheJiggies

New member
trailraider said:
Moesha Plotniks Laundry

Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners, etc. When he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign 'Moesha Plotnik's Laundry." 'Moesha Plotnik?' he wondered. 'How does that belong in Chinatown ?' He walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking dry cleaner, although he could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the store name as there were baseball hats, T-shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo 'Moesha Plotnik's Chinese Laundry.' The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office. Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who thanked him for his purchase. The tourist asked, 'Can you explain how this place got a name like 'Moesha Plotnik's Laundry?'' The old man answered, 'Ah..Evleebody ask me dat. It name of owner.' Looking around, the tourist asked, 'Is he here now?' 'It me, Me him!' replied the old man. Really? You're Chinese. How did you ever get a Jewish name like Moesha Plotnik?'' It simple' said the old man. 'Many, many year ago I come to this country.I, standing in line at 'Document Center of Immiglation.' Man in front of me was man from Poland.' 'Lady at counter look at him and say to him, 'What you name?'
He (Polish man) say to her, 'Moesha Plotnik.' Then she look at me and say, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sam Ting.'
Click to expand...

So being a lazy reader like I am, I tried jumping to the punch line. Saw something about Polish guy... I am Polish, fluent and such. So read the "moesha plotnik" and wondered what the hell does that mean. Was confused for a little bit then just said fuck it, I'll read the whole thing. Thought it was going to be a polish guy joke(I like those lol), but turned out to be a Chinese joke.

Goes to show, all those polak jokes gotta have some truth to em... I mean I could have read it and been done in a minute but instead it took me like 5 minutes to figure out what was going on.
 
Brute

Brute

Hooked
Two blondes sitting on a porch on a night with a beautiful full moon...one blonde says " which do you think is closer; Florida or the moon?"....to which the other blonde replies "silly' it's Florida of course"..."why do you say that?" ask's the 1st blonde....the other blonde replies "can you see Florida?"
 
FLKEYSJK

FLKEYSJK

Member
Brute said:
Two blondes sitting on a porch on a night with a beautiful full moon...one blonde says " which do you think is closer; Florida or the moon?"....to which the other blonde replies "silly' it's Florida of course"..."why do you say that?" ask's the 1st blonde....the other blonde replies "can you see Florida?"
Click to expand...

Being in Florida here I can verify that the moon is closer[emoji6]
 
WJCO

WJCO

Meme King
What's the difference between a catfish and a politician?

One's a scum-sucking bottom dweller and the other is a fish.
 
jolly

jolly

New member
what do you have when a lawyer in front of you is buried in sand up to his neck?

Not enough sand.




One of my alltime favorites is the " 'sup, penis! " cartoon, i need to find that for you.
 
bigcale

bigcale

Caught the Bug
What do a pedophile and a tortoise have in common?

They are both trying to get there before the hair does.
 
trailraider

trailraider

Active Member
Late in the night, he finally regained consciousness. He was in the hospital, in terrible pain. He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his nose, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a nurse hovering over him. He realized that he was obviously in a life-threatening situation. The nurse gave him a serious, deep look, straight into his eyes, then spoke to him slowly and clearly, enunciating each word and syllable, "You may not feel anything from the waist down." Somehow he managed to mumble a reply, "Can I feel your tits then?"
 
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